Co-Parenting & Parenting Plan Mediation — Building a Framework for Your Family's Future
Divorce or separation changes the relationship between partners, but it doesn't end the relationship between parents. Co-parenting mediation helps you create a clear, comprehensive parenting plan that reduces conflict, protects your children, and gives both parents a roadmap for raising their kids cooperatively — even when cooperation feels impossible.
At Compass Mediation Group, lead mediator Alisa Kharis works with parents to develop parenting agreements that are detailed, realistic, and built to last. With a Juris Doctorate from Seattle University School of Law, 16 years of courtroom experience as a former practicing attorney who handled family law cases in Washington state courts, and a Master Mediator certification from the International Mediation Association (IMA) — plus over 25 years of mediation experience and education — Alisa helps parents move past the emotions of divorce and focus on the practical decisions their children need them to make.
All sessions are virtual, so you can participate from anywhere in the country.
What Is Co-Parenting Mediation?
Co-parenting mediation is a facilitated negotiation process where separated or divorced parents work with a neutral mediator to resolve parenting disputes and create or revise a parenting plan.
Unlike court proceedings — where a judge imposes a schedule based on limited information — mediation gives you the ability to design an arrangement that reflects your family's unique needs, your children's personalities, and each parent's real-world schedule.
Co-parenting mediation is used for:
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Creating an initial parenting plan during divorce or separation
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Modifying an existing plan when circumstances change
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Resolving ongoing co-parenting conflicts before they escalate to court
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Addressing specific issues like holiday scheduling, relocation, or decision-making disagreements
What a Parenting Plan Includes
A well-drafted parenting plan is the foundation of successful co-parenting. It eliminates ambiguity and gives both parents clear expectations. Here's what a comprehensive parenting plan should address:
Residential Schedules
The day-to-day and week-to-week schedule that determines where your children live. Options include:
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Alternating weeks (one week with each parent)
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A 2-2-3 rotation (two days with one parent, two with the other, then three with the first)
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A 3-4-4-3 schedule
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Primary residence with one parent and scheduled time with the other
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Custom arrangements that fit your family's needs
There is no single "right" schedule. The best arrangement depends on your children's ages, your work commitments, the distance between homes, and your children's school and activity obligations.
Vacation and Travel
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How much uninterrupted vacation time each parent is entitled to
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Notice requirements before booking travel
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Rules about out-of-state or international travel
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Passport and travel document arrangements
Communication Protocols
Clear communication rules prevent misunderstandings and reduce conflict. Your plan can include:
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Preferred methods of communication between parents (email, text, co-parenting app)
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Response time expectations for non-emergency communications
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Rules about discussing the other parent in front of the children
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How and when children can communicate with the non-residential parent (phone calls, FaceTime, etc.)
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Guidelines for sharing information about school events, medical appointments, and activities
Holiday and Special Occasion Schedules
Holidays are one of the most emotionally charged scheduling issues. A good parenting plan specifies:
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How major holidays are divided (Thanksgiving, Christmas/Hanukkah, Easter, Fourth of July, etc.)
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Whether holidays alternate yearly or are split within the day
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Arrangements for birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and other meaningful dates
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How school breaks (winter, spring, summer) are divided
Decision-Making Authority
Major decisions about your children's lives need a clear process. Your parenting plan should specify how you'll handle:
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Education — school choice, tutoring, special education services
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Healthcare — medical treatments, therapy, dental care, vaccinations
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Religious upbringing — if the parents have different beliefs or practices
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Extracurricular activities — sports, camps, lessons, and the associated costs
You can agree to make these decisions jointly, assign certain categories to each parent, or establish a tie-breaking mechanism if you can't agree.
Financial Arrangements Beyond Child Support
While child support is typically addressed separately, a parenting plan can also cover:
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How extracurricular activity costs are shared
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Who provides health insurance and how uncovered medical expenses are divided
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Clothing, school supplies, and personal items for the child
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How college savings or future educational expenses will be handled
Dispute Resolution
Even the best parenting plan can't anticipate every situation. Including a dispute resolution clause — such as agreeing to return to mediation before filing a court motion — can save both parents time, money, and stress in the future.
Modifying an Existing Parenting Plan
Parenting plans that worked when your children were toddlers may not make sense when they're teenagers. Life changes — job relocations, new relationships, evolving needs of growing children — often require adjustments to existing agreements.
Mediation is the most efficient way to modify a parenting plan. Rather than hiring attorneys and filing a court motion, you and your co-parent can sit down with a mediator and negotiate updated terms. Common triggers for modification include:
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A significant change in either parent's work schedule or location
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A child's changing developmental, social, or academic needs
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One parent's desire to relocate
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The introduction of a new partner or stepparent into the household
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A child reaching an age where their preferences should be considered
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The original plan simply isn't working as intended
Modified agreements reached in mediation can be submitted to the court to replace the original order, giving them full legal enforceability.
Co-Parenting After Divorce — When It Feels Impossible
Let's be honest: co-parenting with someone you've chosen to separate from is hard. Co-parenting with someone who was controlling, dismissive, or uncooperative during the marriage can feel nearly impossible.
Mediation helps in these situations because it provides structure. You're not trying to "get along" — you're building a system. A detailed parenting plan with clear rules means you don't need to have a good relationship with your co-parent. You need a good plan.
Co-Parenting with a Difficult Ex
If your co-parent is high-conflict, manipulative, or simply uncooperative, mediation offers several advantages over court:
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A neutral third party controls the conversation. Alisa ensures both parents are heard and that the conversation stays productive. With 16 years of courtroom experience handling contentious cases — including criminal law, family law, and civil litigation across multiple Washington state counties — she has managed far more difficult dynamics than most mediators have encountered. There's no room for bullying or steamrolling.
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Communication is structured. Your parenting plan can include specific communication protocols — like requiring all non-emergency communication to go through a co-parenting app — that minimize direct conflict.
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Boundaries are built into the plan. A comprehensive parenting plan leaves fewer gray areas for a difficult co-parent to exploit.
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You maintain control. In court, a judge decides. In mediation, you have a voice in every decision.
Why Virtual Co-Parenting Mediation Works
All Compass Mediation Group sessions are conducted virtually, and for co-parenting mediation, this format offers unique benefits:
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No shared waiting room. You don't have to sit next to your ex in a lobby. You log in from your own space, on your own terms.
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Reduced emotional intensity. The physical distance of a virtual session can help both parents stay calmer and more focused.
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Flexible scheduling. Virtual sessions are easier to fit around work and childcare obligations — no commute, no taking time off.
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Nationwide access. Whether you and your co-parent live in the same city or across the country, you can both participate from anywhere.
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Easy document sharing. Proposed schedules, calendars, and financial information can be shared on-screen in real time.
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Private breakout rooms. When the mediator needs to speak with each parent individually — or when either parent needs a moment to regroup — virtual breakout rooms allow private, one-on-one conversations without leaving the session.
Why Choose Compass Mediation Group for Parenting Plan Mediation
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Deep legal knowledge.
Alisa Kharis holds a Juris Doctorate from Seattle University School of Law and practiced law for 16 years in Washington state courts, including family law, criminal law, civil litigation, administrative hearings, entertainment law, and business law. She understands what courts look for in a parenting plan and helps you create an agreement that's thorough, enforceable, and genuinely fair.
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IMA-certified Master Mediator.
Alisa's Master Mediator certification from the International Mediation Association — earned through a year-long training program in Phoenix, Arizona — sets her apart. Combined with over 25 years of mediation experience and education, her expertise ensures your parenting plan is crafted with the highest standard of care.
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Child-centered focus.
Every parenting plan decision is filtered through one question: what's best for the children? Alisa helps parents separate their feelings about the divorce from the practical needs of their kids. As a blog author and host of the BREAKTHROUGH TODAY podcast, she is deeply committed to helping families communicate more effectively — in and out of mediation.
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Detail-oriented process.
Vague parenting plans lead to future conflict. Alisa ensures your agreement covers the specifics — because the details are where co-parenting breakdowns happen.
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A safe, neutral environment.
Mediation is not therapy, and it's not a courtroom. It's a structured negotiation led by a professional who keeps both parents focused on outcomes, not grievances.
Frequently Asked Questions About Co-Parenting Mediation
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Important Note: Compass Mediation Group does not provide legal advice or legal representation. While Alisa Kharis's background as a former attorney deeply informs her mediation practice, she does not act as a lawyer for either party. Clients are encouraged to consult with independent attorneys for legal counsel.
Start Building a Better Co-Parenting Future
Your children don't need perfect parents. They need parents who can work together — even imperfectly — to provide stability, love, and consistency. A strong parenting plan makes that possible.
Call us at (888) 851-8856 or book online to get started.
Important Note:
Compass Mediation Group does not provide legal advice or legal representation. Alisa Kharis is a mediator, not a practicing attorney. Her legal background informs and enriches the mediation process, but she does not act as an attorney for any party. Both partners are encouraged to consult with independent attorneys for legal counsel. If you need legal representation, we are happy to refer you to qualified attorneys.