Spousal support — also called alimony or spousal maintenance depending on your state — is one of the most contentious issues in divorce. It’s deeply personal, financially significant, and emotionally charged for both the paying and receiving spouse. When left to a courtroom, the outcome often leaves both sides feeling that the decision was arbitrary and unfair.
Mediation offers a better path. In spousal support mediation, you and your spouse work with a neutral mediator to negotiate support terms that reflect your actual financial circumstances, your future needs, and the realities of your post-divorce life — rather than leaving the decision to a judge applying a formula.
At Compass Mediation Group, lead mediator Alisa Kharis brings a uniquely powerful set of qualifications to spousal support negotiations. She holds a Juris Doctorate from Seattle University School of Law and previously practiced law for 16 years in Washington state courts — handling family law, civil litigation, and business cases across King, Pierce, Kitsap, Whatcom, and Grays Harbor counties. She is also a credentialed IRS Enrolled Agent — a federally licensed tax professional — and an IMA-certified Master Mediator with over 25 years of mediation experience and education. This combination is critical because spousal support has significant tax implications that most mediators — and many attorneys — fail to address properly.
All sessions are conducted virtually, serving clients nationwide.
Not all spousal support is the same. Understanding the different types helps you negotiate terms that are fair and appropriate for your situation:
Temporary support is paid during the divorce process — from the time of separation until the divorce is finalized. Its purpose is to maintain the financial status quo while the terms of the divorce are being negotiated. Temporary support ends automatically when the final divorce agreement takes effect.
Rehabilitative support is designed to help the lower-earning spouse become financially self-sufficient. It’s typically awarded for a set period — often tied to the time needed to complete education, job training, or re-enter the workforce after an extended absence.
This is the most common type of spousal support and is often the focus of mediation negotiations. Key questions include:
Permanent support — sometimes called long-term or indefinite support — is less common today than in previous decades but may be appropriate in long-term marriages (typically 20+ years) where one spouse sacrificed career development to support the family. Permanent support continues until the receiving spouse remarries, either spouse dies, or a court modifies the order.
In some cases, one spouse supported the other through education or professional training (such as medical school or law school) with the expectation that both would benefit from the resulting career. Reimbursement support compensates the supporting spouse for that investment.
Rather than ongoing monthly payments, some couples agree to a one-time lump-sum payment. This can simplify the arrangement and eliminate the need for continued financial entanglement. However, the tax implications of lump-sum vs. periodic payments differ, which is why Alisa’s IRS Enrolled Agent expertise is invaluable here.
Whether in mediation or in court, spousal support decisions are influenced by a range of factors. Understanding these factors helps you negotiate from a position of knowledge:
In mediation, you’re not limited to the factors a court would weigh. You and your spouse can consider anything that feels relevant and fair — including career sacrifices, future plans, and creative financial arrangements that a judge wouldn’t typically order.
This is where many divorcing couples make costly mistakes — and where Alisa’s IRS Enrolled Agent credential provides critical value.
For divorce agreements executed before January 1, 2019, spousal support (alimony) was:
For divorce agreements executed on or after January 1, 2019, the rules changed dramatically:
This change fundamentally altered the economics of spousal support negotiation. Under the old rules, there was a natural incentive for the higher-earning spouse to agree to larger support payments (because they could deduct them). That incentive no longer exists.
As an IRS Enrolled Agent — a credential Alisa earned in 2022 after completing the rigorous IRS Special Enrollment Examination — Alisa helps both parties understand:
Her additional work as a tax professional at H&R Block reinforces this expertise with hands-on, current tax preparation experience across a wide range of financial situations.
A judge’s options for spousal support are limited: they can order periodic payments, set a duration, and establish conditions for modification or termination. That’s essentially it.
In mediation, your options are much broader. Alisa helps couples explore creative solutions such as:
These creative arrangements often leave both spouses feeling more satisfied than a court-imposed order — because they were designed with input from both parties and tailored to the specific financial realities of the family.
Circumstances change, and spousal support orders can be modified when they do. Common reasons for seeking a modification include:
Mediation is a far more efficient way to handle modifications than returning to court. You and your former spouse can negotiate updated terms in a few sessions, without the cost and delay of litigation.
Alisa is federally licensed to handle tax matters and brings that expertise directly into your mediation. She earned her Enrolled Agent credential in 2022 and also works as a tax professional, giving her hands-on, current experience with the tax code. She helps you understand the after-tax reality of every support scenario.
With a JD from Seattle University School of Law and 16 years of trial and motions practice across King, Pierce, Kitsap, Whatcom, and Grays Harbor counties before dedicating herself fully to mediation, Alisa understands the legal standards courts apply to spousal support, ensuring your mediated agreement will hold up if reviewed by a judge.
Alisa earned her Master Mediator designation from the International Mediation Association through a year-long training program in Phoenix, Arizona. Combined with over 25 years of mediation experience and education, this ensures your case is handled with the highest level of professional skill.
With over two decades of business experience through her umbrella company Synergy Relations — providing consultation, PR, strategic communications, event planning, and more since 2003 — Alisa approaches spousal support as a financial problem to solve, not a battle to win. She helps you find arrangements that work for both parties.
Participate from home, with complete privacy and convenience. No shared waiting rooms, no courthouse parking lots.
Spousal support isn’t just a number on a page — it shapes your financial reality for years, sometimes decades, after divorce. You deserve a process that helps you understand your options, weigh the tax implications, and negotiate a result that’s fair and sustainable.
Mediation gives you that process. An IRS Enrolled Agent mediator with a law degree and over 25 years of mediation experience ensures you don’t leave money on the table — or pay more than you should.
Call (888) 851-8856 or book online to get started.
Compass Mediation Group does not provide legal advice or legal representation. Alisa Kharis is a mediator, not a practicing attorney. Her legal background informs and enriches the mediation process, but she does not act as an attorney for any party. Both partners are encouraged to consult with independent attorneys for legal counsel. If you need legal representation, we are happy to refer you to qualified attorneys.
